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I held my breath for seventeen years, I sprinted through another disappointing career. I remember swirling seas of people that were perfect, at least perfect at the time. I knew a teacher who taught me, a friend who understood. I knew a girl who smoked cigarettes and said she wanted to kill herself and said she wouldn't and disappeared. And everyone disappeared; like anyone had a choice. I only wanted to be idealistic--integrity above all else. Do I believe it? I can't even believe in myself. After I fall I never get back up. At least I can still roll over. Stare blankly at a crowded wall, admit to yourself you were wrong, hold your breath for seven years, repeat mistakes that you remember. And fuck up again and again, look back in disappointment. The only way to be idealistic--integrity above all else. Do I believe it? I can't even believe in myself. After I fall I never get back up. At least I can still roll over.
Track Name: By Erosion or Implosion
My life is something of a downward spiral. It's been headed this way for quite a while. And every good thing that I've ever held onto have only been on their way to the bottom with me. And I'm sorry if you don't understand.
I tried and I tried but I never did heal from the broken and the empty that I always feel. Screaming while hitting this piece of wood is the only medication that has ever been good to me. And I'm sorry if you don't understand.
Track Name: Home
Staring frantically through broken light, I shouldn't be driving so late at night. I clean my windshield, but the damn thing smears; tear-streaked and desperate, I'm shaking but making it home--where I'm lonely. I'm lonely and content. I'll go out and I'll laugh and I'll come home confident. Home (and alone). Please just get me back here in one piece--I'm breathing a sigh of relief. What'll happen to the pieces we've lost? They'll finally find their way home. And I'll come home confident.
Track Name: Wake Up
Wake up, the whole world is waiting and the morning star's aligned for you. It's the morning. I know you hate waking up, but I hope that being here is impetus enough. And I'm imploring that you'll rise out of that bed. Replace your sleeping dreams with thoughts of me instead. So wake up, I can't wait obediently. I was patient, now I'm jealous and I want you here with me. So wake up, I am right here and the whole world is waiting for you to reappear.
Let's get going, great adventure lies beyond. Opportunity is knocking, when will you respond? Day's overflowing with possibilities. Honestly ask yourself where you want to be.
Open up your eyes and start to rise. Life is better when you live it, the world is better when you're in it. So leave sleep behind, resurrect your mind. Don't delay, you are needed. Don't let my pleading go unheeded.
Track Name: Appreciate Me
And I know I'm not worth my weight in blood. I've waited goddamn long enough to tell myself that I don't appreciate my honesty, appreciate my secrecy, appreciate me. The thing about me is that I've been happy for some time--and I believed it. Supposedly at some point I'd forgotten how to smile--can you believe it?
Track Name: Out-of-State License Plate
I thought I saw your initials on an out-of-state license plate, so I drove like an idiot to catch up. I thought I saw your car, same make & model and wonderful color, so I drove like an idiot to catch up. I know we're not in the same city or the same county, but I always thought we were in the same state. And I know I'll never see your car parked in my driveway since the last time you drove away. Looking back, I guess I always kinda drove like an idiot--but I always thought we were having fun.